Trump to Display Subway Surfers Above Teleprompters to Maintain Attention

ARLINGTON, VA – Donald Trump for President 2024 has announced that the 45th President of the United States will now run a simultaneous split-screen of mobile app Subway Surfers above the teleprompter for all campaign speeches moving forward.

Pundits have wondered for several months where Trump’s attention has gone during speeches, as he has had trouble following the words of his speechwriting team. Experts have suggested that Trump could be focused on issues relating to the Israel-Hamas War, his mounting legal issues, or his upcoming choice for his running-mate among the pool of candidates not selected by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

When asked about the changes to the presidential candidate’s oratory strategies, Donald Trump for President 2024 co-manager Susie Wiles said, “We just needed to get back to what we does bes — Donald, stop it! I said you could Subway Surfers on my phone after the interview with the nice woman! – get back to what we do best.”

Wiles continued, “And what we do best is give Americans a candidate who doesn’t make you wonder where his mind — that’s enough, Donald! If you don’t stop, you won’t be allowed your covfefe today. – wonder where his mind is. Donald John Trump is that candidate. If displaying Subway Surfers above his speeches helps remind America of that, then so be it.”