In Latest Gaffe, Biden Reaches For Ice Cream From Turkish Ice Cream Cone Man

Disaster struck last Tuesday, as President Biden’s diplomatic trip to Turkey was completely derailed following an embarrassing gaffe on the streets of Istanbul. Shortly after meeting President Erdogan of Turkey, the Biden team decided to see the town to experience a bit of the local flavor. However, things quickly got off track.

“He said he wanted ice cream,” an aide who asked to remain anonymous told us, “but he clearly did not know what the ice cream vendors here are all about.” As Biden reached for the cone, the Turkish ice cream cone man quickly snatched it away and began to twist it in loops through the air as the President feverishly snatched for it, to no avail. At last, he got his hands on the cone, only for the ice cream cone man to reveal that it was a decoy cone on top of the first cone, whisking away the real cone with ice cream in it.

A brief scuffle ensued, at the end of which Biden held up the real ice cream cone. “I have it!” he crowed, before a sudden look of suspicion crossed his face. “Or do I?” He began to scrutinize the ice cream cone, examining it from multiple angles to ensure that it was not some sort of trick cone that would explode if he bit into it. His doubts put to rest, he took a tentative bite, at which point his aides began to clap and cheer for his tenacity and quick thinking.

Ever the charming politician, Biden kept cool in the aftermath of the incident, quipping “we aren’t in Scranton anymore” to a nearby aide as a show of good humor. What would have been a strong demonstration of Biden’s adaptability in the face of adversity was undermined by his following comments, which indicated that he did in fact believe that they were in Scranton. He expressed some surprise at the unexpected size and vibrancy of the Scranton Turkish community, but promised he would do his best to earn their vote in the coming election.