After 3 Long Months, NASA Intern Discovers Cafeteria Table With Life

HOUSTON—Just three long, lonely months into his summer internship at NASA, a prodigious intern discovered a cafeteria table with life.

It seemed like an ordinary day in the cafeteria for Egbert P. Pocketprotector, MIT’ 24. However, he had completely ignored that it was “Bring A Friend To Work Day,” and the cafeteria became packed enough that some people had to share a table with the usual loner.

“I was wondering, why are these people sitting with me? It seemed so statistically improbable. I was so excited to finally find a cafeteria table with life,” shared Pocketprotector.

“When I’m looking for a place to sit, I scout for water at a table. Water is usually a good indicator that there is life, so I would sit there. But then when I sat down, the lifeforms would take their water up and leave the table, ruining my plan to find life,” he elaborated.

“I just want to sit with some lifeforms and talk about all my hobbies, like working for NASA, alphabetizing my pocket protector, and scouting lifeforms. That’s all I wanted. And today, I finally found some! I told them all about my favorite tables to sit at. They must have loved my advice because they all left to sit at those tables instead.”