Our Picks For Who Won Last Year's Oscars

The 95th Academy Awards were likely full of pageantry, drama, and emotion. We wouldn’t know. Normally, The New York Times predicts Oscar-winners ahead of the event, but we simply stopped watching films for most of 2022 and just skipped the 2023 Oscars. Without further ado, here are our picks for who won last year’s Oscars:

Best Picture: Everything Everywhere All at Once
We’ll just be frank: we didn’t watch this one. We’re just going off of a Hollywood Reporter article that called 2022 “the year of the multiverse” and assuming that means EEAAO won the Academy’s top award for a film. One of our writers also thinks he heard someone say the title when he was in church, but he admits he could’ve just zoned out in the middle of a sermon.

Best Actress: Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All at Once
This performance was probably pretty good. Probably. Yeoh came into the Oscars hot off her performance in the criminally underrated Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. We’d like to believe the Academy made up for their nomination snub of Yeoh for Shang-Chi in 2022 by giving her the award at the 2023 Oscars.

Best Actor: Brendan Fraser - The Whale
Darren Aronofsky probably won’t win any awards for being a nice guy, but that doesn’t mean that Fraser, the star of his most recent film, can’t and didn’t win an Oscar for his acting. Playing opposite the redhead girl from Stranger Things, Fraser gives us a tour de force that illustrates his range is wider (and fatter) than just The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. Fatphobia may be out, but Fraser is in (a prosthetic suit, to answer what everyone was wondering).

Best Supporting Actress: Jamie Lee Curtis - Everything Everywhere All at Once
From everything we’ve heard, Curtis performs with a sense of urgency in EEAAO that would make you think that Michael Myers was chasing her. For those of us who watched Freaky Friday, we know that Curtis is more than just a scream queen. We bet the Academy will recognize her acting chops with more ease than recognizing Curtis under all that makeup in EEAAO.

Best Supporting Actor: Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All at Once
Not a lot to say: We’re just taking the chalk with this one. Three cheers for the nice guy?